Open Your Eyes

And I’m just so tired of being closed off from people. Writing things on a screen is a lot easier to do than to actually talk to someone. I know I do it on purpose. I know that I can solve this, I am just tired of doing this on my own.

I just finished reading the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy and I must say, I am impressed and left with a hopeful outlook on romance and love.

For those of you who think it’s nothing but porn for women: you’re so fucking wrong.

Yes, there are scenes that are extremely racy and graphic, but that isn’t what this set of books is about.

There is so much more beneath the black and white of the pages you see.

It is about the ability of a person to overcome an obstacle with the help of someone who loves him. It is a love story intertwined with a sad background of one person. And frankly, all of the bitter people (Me included) should read this, it might give you some sense of hope about love.

The character development shown is phenomenal. It is a bit repetitive, but that is what gives the narrator her voice. 

I recommend that people read this, not for the sake of the sex scenes, because there are MANY, and after a while you understand the reasons WHY these scenes are placed where they are. 

Just read it. You won’t regret it. 

Well, it’s May 29th at 10:30pm.

I haven’t blogged in a while. It’s not because I haven’t had time to do so. I just haven’t felt compelled to. Hell, even now, I don’t feel compelled to. 

What happened in the past is over, and I’m over it. I don’t think I have ever been so content with not knowing the reason why it ended. I’m just happy it did. 

My stomach problems continue. I have to take a stool test to see if there is blood. It’s not a big deal, so if you’re worried about this, you should feel dumb, because not even I am worried. I just don’t WANT to take it. I don’t WANT to know the results. I mean, I’m still alive, right?! 

Friends: I have very few. Honestly, it is nice catching up with people, see how they’re doing. But lately, I’ve been in loner mode. It sucks, but I’m dealing with life the way I think I should - with the only way I can. And that’s alone.

I am just cruising through life at the moment, and I think I’m okay with that. But it’s late and I’m delirious, so I that might be why I feel so indifferent. 

Until next time.

xo, S

If looks could kill, I’d be arrested for murder.

Have some faith but don’t expect a miracle.

I know that I have emotional issues. Probably stemming from the time when my longest relationship ended and I mourned like he had died - which he didn’t. He left. I know that we used to share our dreams, and I know that those conversations turned into arguments and tears. I know that I have had problems with the guys that I have dated since that time and I know that my issues are no one else’s fault but mine. This is what I know: that I have restless hands. I need to be writing, typing, or turning a page. I know that I have heart and emotion sewn into my work. 

This is what I know: I have had my heart stomped on, bruised and shattered. But that’s what superglue was made for.

beyourperfectself:

aaaaaaaaaaaand sexy

aaaaaaand happy.

It starts this way: You don’t know what you want, or who you want to become. So, you sit. You journal. You think. You run: You run into people you’d prefer to never see again. You run from everything that reminds you of the hurt you’ve felt before. You run into the arms of someone else. Someone you believe won’t hurt you. But they do, because it’s what people do; they hurt you with or without the intention. And you deal with the pain for months, years. You beat yourself up over everything that happened, and everything that could have been fixed. And after all of that, you grow up and realize that there was never anything you could do about it, and that you truly, honestly did all that you were able to. And after you’ve felt all of this you cry. Not because you’re hurt, but because you’re relieved to know that you survived it all. It starts this way: You grow up and move on. It continues this way, too.